Counting Meese ‘Cuz I Can’t Sleep


Why is it when you can’t sleep,

They suggest you count sheep?

Is it because sleep rhymes with sheep?

Often, I can’t sleep. Too often. I may sleep for a few hours, but then I find myself awake at 2:30 am and I’m wired. Wiredish. I say “wiredish” because I’m partially wanting to sleep, I’m yawny, but at the same time my mind is racing. Sometimes it’s with serious, anxiety inflicting problems. Other times it’s with complete randomness.

For example, the plural of goose is geese. So why isn’t the plural of moose “meese”?


Or earlier tonight, my grandfather-in-law and I were watching “Etalk.” It is the Canadian equivalent of Entertainment Tonight. It comes on right after the local news. My grandfather-in-law is 90 and he loves the local news. He loves to rant at the local news weather woman, Cindy Day. “Cindy Day, are you going to look in the mirror and tell us it’s going to be a beautiful “Day”? It’s hilarious because you can tell this woman thinks she’s all that and a bag of weed. A big bag of weed. The size that would land you in jail for trafficking.

Anyway, Etalk is not generally a show that either one of us would watch. But when the lead-in is, “Tonight: Shocking accusations surrounding Charlie Sheen,” I found myself saying out-loud almost as if I, myself, were 90 years old as well, “Ugh. This ought to be good,” followed by, “what could be more shocking than what he’s already done.” So exactly what has the bi-winning Charlie Sheen been up to now? Well, it’s not something he’s done recently. It’s what he apparently did 29 years ago.

The story continues, “19 year old Charlie. 13 year old Corey Haim. Explosive accusations from a 1986 film set and the details behind the alleged underage encounter between the TV star and the late Canadian actor.” Well, what can I say. We were mesmerized by celebrity news. Me because Corey Haim was my junior high crush, the boy of my dreams. I watched every movie. I even own the film Lucas on DVD.

If you haven’t heard the gory details yet, I’ll give you the quick and dirty (literally) synopsis. Charlie Sheen allegedly raped Corey Haim on the set of Lucas. No wonder poor Corey Haim became a washed-up child star addicted to drugs.

You can find the full news clip here for your viewing enjoyment:

So this is the kind of thing that I think about when I can’t sleep.

I’m also thinking about how much my day tomorrow is going to suck donkey dicks. I have to make a 4 hour drive from my current location to my home-town, Halifax, Nova Scotia. It’s going to be a very long drive consisting of many coffee and pee breaks. Also, I will likely buy many packs of Skittles because the sugar helps to keep me awake. I’ll also put on the Sirius radio and switch between the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s music stations, blasting it and singing along. I always put the music on loud so I can’t hear my own voice while I sing along. That way I can pretend I’m a gifted singer. Remember the movie “The Heartbreak Kid,” the car scene? Here’s a refresher:

And this is probably why my husband prefers we always listen to talk radio when we drive.

But back to sleeping and my lack of it and my lack of it. Oh, and my lack of sleeping. Am I being redundant? I’ve always had sleep issues. As a child, I remember laying awake in my bed for hours. And if I got out of bed, my parents would get ticked off and send me back. “Try warm milk.” I’d tell them, I can’t shut off my mind. “Well, stop thinking.” Duh, if it was that easy, I’d just do that.

And when I do sleep? Well, you don’t want to be my bed partner. I’ve accidentally punched my husband in the face too many times to count. Not on purpose, just because I move around a lot in my sleep. I talk in my sleep, cry in my sleep. Recently, my husband had to take me back to bed because I was walking around our apartment in my sleep.

I know some other people I follow have commented on their own sleep issues- night terrors and the like. I don’t seem to have bad dreams. If I do, I don’t remember them. I do often dream that I’m at work. My dreams are often like an extension of whatever happened during the day. That’s often a nightmare unto itself. Work all day, and then in my sleep I work, so it’s not even like having a true sleep even if I do sleep.

My doctor has prescribed me Diazepam for helping me to sleep. Problem is the 5mg helps me to sleep for a few hours, and the 10mg knocks me out to the point that I sleep most of the following day. Also, I don’t want to end up like Anna Nicole Smith or Heath Ledger, both of whom died from Diazepam cocktails (a mix of Diazepam and other prescription drugs.) I’ve tried many sleeping aids from melatonin, valerian root, chamomile tea, warm milk, Sleep-Eze… nothing works. Do Serta mattresses actually help? Maybe I need a Serta.

Is there anyone else who has difficulty getting to and staying asleep? What do you do when you can’t sleep?

Sweet Dreams, everyone.


One thought on “Counting Meese ‘Cuz I Can’t Sleep

  1. I too was thinking of poor Corey Haim. I had a big crush on him too in the 80s.. apparently, it’s been reported that one of the many things Denise Richards left Sheen for is catching him watching underage gay porn. Shocker. He’s a perv. How did we all forget about him not dating anyone but Heidi Fleiss’ s whores throughout the 90s? He’s such a POS

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s